Sunday, November 09, 2008

Things that kept me awake last night

I have come to the conclusion that I am a weak person. I didn't used to be - as I have explored on this blog before. My parents sent me out into the world with a work ethic, a moral code and an inner happiness that I rode along on more or less comfortably until I was 40.

Now I question everything.

Which may be a good thing.

My new partner blew away my concept of marriage. I weakly accept (in the face of his evidence) that most marriages are not monogamous - despite the fact that I was in one myself for 16 years, and my parents set a sterling example for 40 years.

So I reset my moral compass. Downward. In disappointment, in disillusionment, to my own detriment.

I wasn't the kind of kid to be drawn into the wrong crowd. I wasn't easily swayed. I didn't smoke behind the bike sheds...

What I did do was accept my parents' moral code lock stock and barrel. Which Neil would call a Mc Moral Code. I didn't question it, and it worked well for me. Until I met him. This to him is abhorent. As thinking adults we should make our own decisions about everything in life - right and wrong, politics, who we sleep with, the death penalty, what we eat....

And here's just one funny thing about him..he thinks nothing of having unprotected sex with >100 women, but he would never eat an out of date yoghurt.

Is it good for parents to hammer a moral code (e.g christianity) home to a child? How can I find an alternative acceptable approach for my son?


Cat said...

Unprotected sex and dates on yogurt - Oh my!

As for the question I found that what 'felt' right to me was what I taught my children.

Just because one person questioned your learning process of morals does not mean you are wrong and he is right - I think the issue of morals that you learn is based from our parents but ulitmately you have decided on your own between right and wrong and have already begun teaching your child this, even if you are unaware you are teaching him.

Be true to yourself and keep writing!


FI0NA said...

I know I should be true to myself, but I find that I am not. This is why I feel weak. If I ever contest Neil's opinion he first provides me with a barrage of evidence and if that does not work. He gets mad and says I always have to be right (which feels a bit ironic, since I do not have the courage of my convictions and rarely pluck up courage to express my opinions even at work).

Did mentioning Yoghurt and Sex in the same sentence trigger unwanted images???

Cat said...

Ha! Yes!

It sounds like Neil likes to be right. If you feel like you cave because of his communication style I would say something. Because if I went for a long time wihtout saying anything about it I would explode and he would be all like - well why the heck did'nt ya say something before this?' - well not he but my guy - oh you know what I mean.

Look I am not giving advise but I think if something about what is going on is making you feel weak you should explain that to him and figure out a way to fix that.

Just my two cents I do know writing that is so much easier than actually talking about it, I wish ya the best!