So he is trying to be my friend. I have to say this is an entirely new situation for me. I am more used to the "ignore her and she'll go away" approach from exs. Actually in truth I don't like the gray area. I suppose whilst genuine respectful friendship would be a beautiful thing. I can see it is more likely to be a case of being held on a string and giving into sex with him if he presses the right buttons. I would really rather nothing at all.
If he rings again maybe I'll tell him what he wants to hear (reassurance and an ego boost):-
Things are pretty good, I'm keeping busy at work. I've booked a couple of holidays. Can't say I don't think about you, I still love you, but part of this is that I want what's best for you. I really hope you find it.
Or should I tell him the truth:-
I'm pretty much existing from day to day. My life is very boring and I only booked the holidays so I have something to look forward to. I think about you every day, trying to fathom why the hell you would terminate our relationship. I miss you very badly. I haven't been able to sleep in my own bed since you left. I can't understand how I have arrived at this particular point in life. I'm at sea. If this had happened to me in my 20s it would've taken me apartI have just found one more (slightly contradictory) thing I wrote in relation to break ups and aging (my personal experience)
I fall in love easily, but have found since I turned 40, that I fall out of love rather easily too. Fickle. Not a good predictor of relationship success maybe? Or else a wordly conviction that I will not be " used" and there is no point flogging a dead horse. I had a further slightly unnerving thought this week -perhaps it is just my failing memory. Nothing is so intense these days as i simply can't remember the detail.