Sunday, July 31, 2016

Collateral damage in other peoples' mid life crises

Maybe the Christmas Box worked, or maybe other crises took over because today I am feeling better about it. Maybe just the separation is working, the slow growing apart that has to happen. The acknowledgement that I never did, and still don't really know him and am not part of his inner circle or ever will be. Maybe even that apart from the structural things we are still unsuited. I don't really like watching sport in pubs for example, and I am not particularly motivated by money.

I had a little run in at work.Someone is telling tales about me, which resulted, through some sort of Chinese whisper process in me being accused of gossip. Career damaging gossip, by a person senior to me, who holds a great deal of power. My conscience is clear, I never said the things about this person that they suspect me of.  But still unsettling, and I honestly can't remember what I have said to anyone that might've brought this accusation on. 

At the base of both of these problems might be that the people in question are insecure. George was very vulnerable after his divorce and he sucked me into a sort of fantasy, or not entirely normal way of being which was ultimately damaging to my psyche. Same with this senior colleague. That colleague has very generally acted in some rather "sailing close to the wind" ways, and so for all the gossip floating around a chunk of it has been pinned on me. A sort of deflection if you will. I have become collateral damage in that persons mid-life crisis as well. 

I just need to spot this problem from afar off in future.

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