Monday, May 14, 2007

Nervous/Marriage Breakdown

Another little reflection.

When Simon had his breakdown, he reinvented his life, and reinvented me out of it. He put his past behind him and moved on.

I was indulging in a particularly vivid memory of walking through rice paddies in Indonesia as the sun set (part of our travels)..



when I thought. "Its OK for him to breakdown and choose to forget everything about our life together, but I don't actually want to be "broken down" as well. I choose to remember".

However, in leaving me that is what he has done. I have no choice but to bury our past, many of our mutual friends, people in his family who I knew and loved, and start over.

This is no mean feat at our age.

Here we are in our 30s, he through his illness, therapy and subsequent reinvention has lost his past, by choice, I have had mine ripped from me.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I stumbled across your page tonight and feel as if I could have written this blog...certainly makes me feel not so alone. It's been 10 months now and while he started his life over the moment he left, I've only just begun.

Thank you for sharing your blog.

Namaste, peg

Vic's Still Standing said...

I think this is the hardest part of divorce: Having your past ripped from you, and losing some of your friends and his family. Those memories you shared together are no longer shared. They are yours alone.

This is a very lonely feeling. I had some of my past restored when an old college friend returned to my life.

Oh, it is so ironic that we have both visited Indonesia! I, too, recall a stroll in the rice paddies. Bob went on with our guide while I stayed behind. It was the quietest, most peaceful 15 minutes I spent in my life.

Vic's Still Standing said...

Oh, my Fiona, your mention of my blog has sent scores of people to visit it today. Thank you for the shout out. I truly appreciate it, as some folks are staying for a while and reading other posts.

Hope to return the favor some day. Vic

Anonymous said...

My husband left the family home for what he calls reflection. I know there is a younger woman in his life, but let him go through this if this is what he wanted. I personally feel he too has been through a nervous breakdown, cause he has been very unhappy as well as irritable for quite some time.Part of me wants him back, yet deep down I almost know it is not going to happen. How does a 45 year old lady who has given her life for her family start all over again. I try to be positive yet I feel so scared!