Sunday, July 04, 2010


Over the past few days I've been wondering

Is control a good thing, or a bad thing?

Here's the thing. I have been taking comfort in the fact I have no control over my life in a "Let go and let god" kind of a way. That is, there are certain things I just cannot control and I will hurt myself trying. However I am wondering where the boundaries lie. By which I mean, at what point does this become abdication of responsibility?

i.e I can't control when I feel too tired to get out of bed and go to work!

So I turned to for the answer. Broadly it seems anything to do with controlling your diet, or your anger, is OK and controlling your life is OK until it becomes OCD. Having anyone else control you is toxic and bad and you need to learn to say "No"!!!

I think as my ex husband's psychiatrist said, we all need some level of controlling behaviour to function in professional roles, but the trick is not to let it get out of hand where we need to control other people to feel in control of our own lives. This will never be me. I always follow the codie route in that regard.


Bernadine said...

I don't know why my blog hates me, but here's what I wrote in response to your comment:

Fiona, honey- I don't think it says anything worse about you, if you aren't having those positive feelings right now. Please don't judge yourself against how I'm doing. We're all on our own path, after all. And it took me a hell of a lot of work and time to start to feel good again-- believe me, there was a period when I could barely get off the couch. Keep holding on. I really think better days are coming.


FI0NA said...

Thanks Bernadine.